


Tasty

by decadent_mousse



Series: Phone Sex And Other (Mis)adventures [4]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Fake Blood, Halloween Costumes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 07:40:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decadent_mousse/pseuds/decadent_mousse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t until the fog of sleep lifted as he was preparing breakfast that Hermann realized he hadn’t seen Newton all morning.  He had already been up and out of bed by the time Hermann awoke – which was not unusual – but Hermann hadn’t seen him since then, either.  Usually he was in the living room or the kitchen, but he wasn’t today.  He hadn’t gone to work early, either, because his car was still in the driveway.  </p><p>Hermann did seem to recall some sort of project he’d said he’d been working on lately.  Maybe he was down in the basement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tasty

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I've ever outright stated anywhere, but at this point in my fic universe Newt teaches high school biology. It's only kind of vaguely relevant to this fic, but there you go. Thanks again to my beta for looking this over for me!

It wasn’t until the fog of sleep lifted as he was preparing breakfast that Hermann realized he hadn’t seen Newton all morning.  He had already been up and out of bed by the time Hermann awoke – which was not unusual – but Hermann hadn’t seen him since then, either.  Usually he was in the living room or the kitchen, but he wasn’t today.  He hadn’t gone to work early, either, because his car was still in the driveway. 

Hermann _did_ seem to recall some sort of project he’d said he’d been working on lately.  Maybe he was down in the basement.

A voice from somewhere behind him said, “Good morning!”

“There you are,” Hermann replied, smothering a yawn.  “I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.”

“Oh, sorry, I was working on something.  Must’ve lost track of time.”

“Breakfast is almost ready.”

Newt came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.  He nuzzled Hermann’s neck.  “Mmm, smells nice.”

“If you make me burn the eggs, Newton, you’ll have to eat cereal instead.”

“I kind of had something else in mind.”

Hermann sighed, trying for exasperated, but not quite pulling it off.  “Newton, _really_.”

Newton chuckled.  The nuzzling turned into kissing.

He turned around to confront the infuriating man, and felt his blood run cold.  Before he was actually conscious of what he was doing, he was leaping backwards, nearly knocking the pan off the stove in the process.  Some terrified part of his hind-brain wanted to scream, but no sound would come out.

Newton’s throat was a torn and bloody mess, flesh and exposed muscle glistening bright red under the light of the kitchen.  His skin looked grey and waxy, and he had dark purple circles around his eyes like bruises.  He was wearing a lab coat splattered with blood – _his_ blood, apparently.  Hermann was still trying to wrap his mind around _how_ and _why_ , heart pounding wildly in his chest, when Newton began to laugh.

“Oh my God, dude, the look on your face.  I’m sorry.  I just– I couldn’t help myself.  You had your back turned, and I saw an opportunity, and I had to take it.  I’m really, really sorry.”  He didn’t sound _at all_ sorry.  He was still laughing very hard, and it was making the deep gash in his neck contort in a way that made Hermann nauseous.

“Wow, I really scared you, huh?”

Hermann regained enough of his faculties that he gripped his cane tightly and smacked Newton across the shins with it.

“Oww!  Shit!  What the hell, dude?!”  Newton leapt away, rubbing at his legs, and the image of a pained, sheepish zombie was ridiculous enough that Hermann was able to snap out of his terrified daze.

He had some _nerve_ , acting like the offended party in this situation.  “Are you trying to _kill me_?” Hermann hissed.

“Well, _no_.  No!  I mean–  Of course not, I just thought it’d be funny–“

“Oh yes, _hilarious_.”

“Come on, don’t be mad!  It was just a joke!”  He paused and blinked.  “The eggs are burning.”

Hermann cursed under his breath and hurriedly turned off the burner, but it was too late.  “Wonderful,” he grumbled.  “Why on earth are you dressed like that?”

“Dude, seriously?  It’s Halloween.”

“Is it?”

Newton gaped at him.  “How do you just… _forget_ Halloween?”

“Because it’s of no importance.  You are an adult, not some candy-hoarding adolescent.”

“’No importance?’  Are you kidding?  You’re never too old to celebrate Halloween, Hermann.  I, for one, plan on hoarding a _shit ton_ of candy today, thank you very much.”

Hermann shook his head and dumped the ruined eggs into the trash. 

“If you forgot today was Halloween, I guess you probably forgot about the party, too.”

Hermann froze.  “…Party?”

“Oh my God.  You’re hopeless.  Yes, _the party_.  Remember, I told you about it a couple weeks ago…?”

He stared at Newton blankly.

“One of the other teachers is throwing this huge Halloween party and invited the whole staff.  It’s this big _thing_.  Is any of this ringing a bell?”

Now that he mentioned it, Hermann did seem to vaguely recall mentions of a party.  He didn’t remember anything about it being a Halloween party, though.  He had this terrible, sinking feeling.  “Well, I hope you weren’t expecting me to _go_.”

“Oh sure, like I’m going to a costume party without my boyfriend.”

Costume party.  Dear God.  “Yes, well, _unfortunately_ since I forgot all about it, I don’t have anything suitable to wear to such an event.”

Newt grinned, and Hermann wasn’t sure whether it was the grin itself or the grotesque makeup, but there was something decidedly _sinister_ about the look on his face.  “Lucky for you I bought you a costume, then.  I kinda had a feeling you might forget.”

That sinking feeling was getting worse.  Much worse.  “Oh really?  How thoughtful of you.”

“Yeah, I’m a pretty thoughtful guy.  Oh hey!  Check this out!” 

He fiddled with what appeared to be something hidden in the edge of his coat’s sleeve, and blood started trickling from his neck wound.

Hermann stared in horror.

“Cool, right?  I made this whole thing myself!  All I have to do is move my wrist just right and I can set it off.  If I _really_ work it, it’ll actually _spray_ out of there.”

“Please, don’t.”

“What?  Oh, don’t worry, I’m not going to do it right now.  I figured I’d save it for class – give the students a surprise!”  He laughed wickedly.  “I wasn’t even going to wear the costume until later at the party, but the kids wanted to see it, so…  We’ll see how they like it when I spray the whole front row of the classroom with blood!”

“Is that _legal_?”

Newt shrugged.

Hermann sighed.  He felt a headache beginning to form.

~

Once Newton had left for work, Hermann steeled himself for what awaited him in the bedroom.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.  The costume was spread out across the bed, and some long appendage dangled over the edge and onto the floor.  Was that a _tail_?  Hermann took a step closer, brain trying to process what exactly he was seeing.  He stared at it for a long while.  That terrible, sinking feeling was back.  He could have sworn he felt Newton’s laughter tickle the back of his skull.

“No,” he said out loud to the empty room.  “Absolutely not.”

~

Hermann slammed the car door shut and only narrowly averted getting his costume caught in it.  He practically stalked to the door of the house.  He was livid, and he didn’t care who knew it.

Newt locked the car and hurried to catch up to him.  “Oh, come on!  Don’t be that way, Hermann!  You’re so cute!”

“I hate you.”

Newton laughed, and Hermann wondered if that nearby row of rose bushes would be big enough to hide a body in.  “It’s perfect, dude!  You look awesome!  Everyone’s going to love it, and then you’re going to feel silly for getting so upset about it.”

Somehow, Hermann really doubted it. 

The front door opened, and a tall, muscular man dressed up as Tarzan – that is, all he was wearing was a _loincloth_ – appeared.  He smiled brightly when he noticed Newton.  “Hey, Newt!  Glad you could make it!  Oh hey, this must be Hermann!  It’s good to finally meet you – Newt talks about you all the time!”

“Yes, well.  Er, it’s good to meet you, too.”

“That’s a _great_ costume, by the way!  I love Godzilla!”

~

Hermann sipped his drink and watched Newton socialize from his position on the couch.  He was on the other side of the room, talking rather animatedly to one of his co-workers – more specifically, the scantily clad one with the physique of a Greek god that had answered the door earlier.  Hermann scowled, and he told himself it was at the dubious quality of the alcohol.

Eventually Newton made his way over to the couch.  “Dude, have you been sitting here this whole time?”

“No, I got up once to get a refill.”

Newt snorted.  “I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

Hermann smirked at him.  “Good.”

“I thought you might try to, y’know, socialize.”

“I did have a conversation with another of your co-workers, Lisa.  Did you know that her dream is to move to the countryside and start an ostrich farm?  Also, her first grandchild was born a week ago.  She was very eager to show me pictures.”

Newt laughed.  “Oh no.  I’m _so_ sorry, dude.”

“Yes, well, you seemed to be enjoying _your_ conversation.”

“What, with Stan?  Yeah, he’s a pretty cool guy.”

“Yes, he seems very impressive.”

Newton side-eyed him.  “I had no idea he was hiding _that_ under those suits he wears to work.”

Hermann kept his expression carefully neutral.

“Hermann… are you _jealous_?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Oh my God, you are!”

Hermann refused to admit that, so he said nothing at all – which was just as telling.

Newt nudged him.  “Hey, come on,” he said with a smile.  “You know I only have eyes for you.”

“So you don’t find him attractive?”

“Now, I didn’t say _that_.”

“Newton–”

“Well, sure.  He’s a good-looking guy, but he’s not _you_ , dork.  You don’t have anything to worry about.  In case you haven’t noticed, I kinda like you a little bit.”

Hermann glanced at him.  “A ‘little bit?’”

“Okay, maybe a lot,” he said, and kissed him on the cheek. 

Hermann smiled and turned his head in the middle of the kiss so that Newt ended up catching his mouth instead.

Newt grinned at him, eyes sparkling.  “Wanna go upstairs?”

“Why would I want to go upstairs?”

“Because that’s where the bedrooms are…?”

What– _Oh_.  “I am _not_ going to make love to you in some stranger’s bedroom,” Hermann replied, scandalized.

Newt laughed.  “Dude, were you ever a teenager, or did you just pop out full-grown?  Also, I was just thinking we could make out for awhile.  Get your mind out of the gutter, Hermann.”

Hermann felt his face heat up.  He was _not_ blushing.  The alcohol was to blame.

“You’re so cute when you blush.  So?  Do you?  Want to?”

At that point Hermann wasn’t sure whether Newton was asking him if he wanted to make out or have sex.  “Yes.”

Newton grinned, “Alright, let’s go.  We’ll creep up the stairs sneaky like.  No one will even notice.”

He seriously doubted the stealth capabilities of two inebriated men dressed as a zombie and a giant reptilian monster, but he let Newton guide him towards the stairway regardless.  Walking on level ground with the huge feet of the Godzilla costume had been easy enough – the stairs were a bit trickier.  Once they reached the top, Hermann found himself at something of a loss.  The hallway seemed to stretch on forever, and there were so many doors.

“Do you know where you’re going?” he asked as Newt headed towards a seemingly random door and jiggled the doorknob.

“Not really.  I just figured we’d go into the first bedroom we find.  I mean, if it’s unoccupied.”

“Charming.”

“Your cool cucumber act doesn’t fool me, dude.  You’re _totally_ charmed.”

He was _not_. 

Newt walked across the hall and jiggled another doorknob.  The door opened, and he cautiously peeked inside.  His face lit up.  “Okay, come on.”

~

“Dude, lick it.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Hermann, come _on_.  Please?  Please, lick it?”

“I am not putting my face anywhere near… _that_.”

Newt huffed and gave him a deeply wounded look.  It wasn’t going to do him any good.  Hermann refused to be affected by Newt batting his eyelashes and gazing at him with those gorgeous green eyes.

Damn it.  “Fine.  Come here.”

Newton grinned victoriously. 

Hermann hesitated for a moment before leaning in.  He licked at a patch of faux blood that was splattered across Newton’s jaw, because he still absolutely refused to lick that neck wound – it might’ve been fake, but it was still hideous.  He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, exactly, but the taste of raspberries definitely wasn’t it.

“So?  What do you think?”

“Why does it taste like raspberries?”  Hermann asked, face still pressed against Newton’s jawline.

“Maybe so _someone_ would be tempted to lick it off of me,” Newt whispered in his ear.

“Only you would consider raspberry-flavored _gore_ to be a viable seduction method.”

“Well, unless that’s a slide rule in your pocket, Dr. Gottzilla, I’d say it’s working.”

Hermann grabbed him by his tie.  “You are ridiculous.”

Newt kissed him.  “Ridiculously handsome, ridiculously charming…  Yeah, I am, aren’t I?”

“Help me get out of this costume.”

“You want to have _sex_?  Here?  Now?  In a _stranger’s_ bedroom?”  Newt clearly tried to look scandalized, but couldn’t quite manage it.

“No, but I would like to be able to kiss you without having to navigate around _this_ ,” Hermann said, gesturing at the gaping maw of Godzilla that framed his face and flopped around with every movement.

Newt raised an eyebrow.  “Dude, you do realize you can push that back, right?  It’s designed to work kind of like a hoodie.”

“…Of course.  I knew that,” Hermann lied.

“Uh huh.”

He scowled and wrestled around with Godzilla’s face until he did, indeed, manage to push it backward and off of his head.  The damn thing had been smothering him all night long.  He really would have liked to have known that bit of information sooner.

Newton looked like it was taking every ounce of self-restraint he had – which, really, wasn’t much – not to laugh.  “Better?”

“Much.”

Newton pushed him gently backwards onto the bed, at which point he crawled on top of him.  He still looked very much like a zombie, and Hermann felt like he probably shouldn’t have been nearly as aroused as he was.  He wasn’t sure if the love and attraction he felt towards Newton was just so strong that it triumphed even in the face of horrifying Halloween makeup, or if he had unwittingly uncovered some sort of fetish he never knew he had.

Hermann had a brief moment of panic.  What if they got caught?  What if someone walked in and–

Newt leaned down and kissed him deeply, and his concerns faded into the background.

“I’m going to eat your brains,” Newt breathed.

“Yes, that’s very romantic,” Hermann replied, biting at Newt’s lower lip.

“Says the guy _chewing_ on my mouth,” Newton complained, but he grinned and rubbed his nose against Hermann’s before continuing to kiss him. 

Sarcasm aside, Hermann had to admit that the situation _was_ rather romantic, in an odd sort of way – Halloween costumes and strange beds in strange houses aside.  He would never, ever admit it, but he was glad he had allowed Newton to drag him to the party.  Very glad.

Newt rubbed his growing erection against Hermann’s hip with a moan, and Hermann was already thinking that, yes, maybe he wanted the whole costume off after all.  At the very least, he was considering ridding Newt of _his_ costume, which would probably be considerably easier to remove than his.  As he was considering this, Newt reached up to grip the headboard of the bed to steady himself. 

Several things happened at that point.  Hermann attempted to unzip Newton’s pants – which was _extremely_ difficult to do with Godzilla hands – and Newt’s grip on the headboard tightened reflexively.  Too late, Hermann remembered their conversation earlier that morning.  The one about Newton’s _wonderful_ blood-spewing apparatus, and how the trigger for it was located somewhere–

Before he could finish his train of thought, faux arterial spray spewed forth from Newton’s neck wound.  Even more unfortunately, Hermann had been moving in to have another taste when this happened, and all but drowned in the deluge as a result.

“Oh shit!”  Newt abruptly let go of the headboard, but the damage was already done.

“Newton–“ he sputtered, face awash in a crimson tide.

“Y-yeah?”

Hermann just glared silently.

Newton smiled uncertainly.  “Hey, come on, it’s not so–  I mean, it’s just a little–  Oh God, please don’t kill me, I love you.”

~

Newton’s co-worker – Steve? – was surprisingly calm about having his guest bedroom drenched in blood, and was happy to let Hermann and Newt clean themselves up in the bathroom.  In the shower, Newt tried to make up for the whole debacle, but Hermann would have none of it – the other man was very lucky that Hermannloved him, because that was the only thing keeping Hermann from _strangling_ him.

In an even more impressive display of kindness, Newton’s co-worker – Stewart?  Hermann really was going to have to remember his name at some point, he knew it started with an S – let them stay the night.  Granted, it was in that same guestroom, and they ended up having to sleep on a bare mattress because the poor man said he didn’t trust them with a fresh set of sheets, and Hermann honestly couldn’t blame him.

“Next Halloween,” Hermann grumbled as Newt settled beside him on the bed, “you are not allowed to wear a costume.”

Newton kissed him on the shoulder.  “So, what, I should spend next Halloween naked?”

That… was not an entirely bad idea.

**Author's Note:**

> They didn't get very far at all this time, did they? I promise next time will be more fulfilling. ...Maybe.
> 
> The title was originally going to be Itchy. Tasty. but I decided not to subject you guys to my Resident Evil references, and nothing in this was particularly itchy (though I did briefly consider Hermann ending up being allergic to the raspberry-flavored blood, but that felt too evil). I was also originally going to wait until Halloween to post it, but I have absolutely no self-restraint, so.


End file.
